Who is to Blame for All of Our Problems? Blame Canada, of course!

Sheila: Times have changed
Our kids are getting worse
They won't obey their parents
They just want to fart and curse!
Sharon: Should we blame the government?
Liane: Or blame society?
Dads: Or should we blame the images on TV?
Sheila: No, blame Canada
Everyone: Blame Canada

...

The Laughter and fun
Must all be undone
We must blame them and cause a fuss
Before somebody thinks of blaming uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus!!!!

The Gospel According to South Park

Although I have never been a dedicated South Park fan, this song from the South Park movie Bigger, Longer, & Uncut from 1999 struck a cord with me and has stayed with me over the years.  I find that though it is silly, it is a good reminder of how we all love to play the blame game -- namely, that it is always easier to fault someone else for the problems in our lives.

Just look at the world of politics:  The Democrats blame the Republican policies of the Bush Administration; the Republicans blame Obama for doing all the wrong things.  

Or the world of finance:  Main Street blames Wall Street for being greedy, Wall Street blames Main Street for taking out the loans they couldn't afford.  Government blames the Regulators for allowing the financial crisis and we all blame the Government for not getting the economy back on track fast enough.

The Problem with the Blame Game

The truth, however, is that blaming others, while cathartic, doesn't really help us or change anything.  And it also doesn't focus on the one person whose attitude and decisions we can influence -- YOU!

Externalizing blame is easy because it places the responsibility for change on 'someone else'.  But, it doesn't acknowledge that YOU are the greatest common factor and the least common denominator in both the successes and failures of your life.  YOU have the ability to control both your actions and reactions to every situation in your life. 

Techniques to Try:

So, the next time something in your life doesn't go the way you want it to go, try one of these techniques:

1.  Be compassionate:  It may be that the person you are blaming doesn't even know what/understand why you are feeling pain.  If you were the one to blame, you would sure appreciate it if someone was willing to be compassionate to your point of view.

2.  Be the change:  Try "being the change you want to see in the world" rather than blaming the world/your boyfriend/your boss for the problem. Taking action to change your situation often feels a whole lot better than playing the victim or doing nothing at all.

3.  Take responsibility:  Honor yourself by being honest with yourself.  Sometimes when we blame others it is because we are also angry with ourselves for letting something 'bad' happen to us.  Looking inward towards what we contributed to the situation can help us avoid repeating the same mistakes again.

Of course, if all else fails, you can just Blame Canada!  Now you can see why the song almost won an Academy Award, can't you?